Saturday, June 29, 2002

Got home at around 3:30 am today since I was able to nearly max out Area 51's 6 pm - 4 am promo. I was there at six and we left at around 3 am. Not bad for P150.

Of course that more or less explains why you've seen me writing early in the morning as of late in contrast to the wee hours of the night.

I was planning to actually make my fanzine yesterday but I wasn't in the mood. Actually spent a lot of time sleeping and resting. And then had to go to Galleria in the afternoon to meet the gamers who were supposed to watch at movie. Of course that didn't happen and we just went out for an early Warcraft game.

Our group won all our multiplayer games while in a free for all match since there was just only three of us at the time, I won twice out of three games. Not bad. Sometimes, it makes me cocky. And then I start playing in Ateneo and I start to become humble again. =) Either way, Warcraft's been taking a toll on my budget, and lately, time.

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Friday, June 28, 2002

There's something completely wrong with Jobert's hotmail account. I can't send email to him yet I can send to other people's hotmail account.

Oh yeah, I've managed to beat Warcraft 3's AI in all the two and three player maps. While the computer is good, he works in a pattern that never changes. Which makes me realize how far AI still has to go, and what differentiates us from computers so far.

Speaking of Warcraft, will be playing again tonight. Hopefully, I'll do better. ^^

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Well, yesterday was just one of those days when you get home, eat dinner, and then hibernate for ten or so hours.

Nothing really spectacular happened at school yesterday. I am participating more in Mr. Bulaong's philosophy class but it also appears as if I'm the only one who understands his teachings. There's Martino, the ever-constant doubter on Descarte, especially when it came to the part that math and science aren't certain. Doubting is all and well, that's what the lesson is about after all. However, he totally missed the point that there were mistakes in Math before and that you can't completely trust something that has failed you before.

Also, while waiting for my carpool, I suddenly realized that there was a poetry reading at the place where I was supposed to meet him. Eva dragged me there and I told her I was going home at 6 pm. She then replied "Huh? That'll be around the time that thing would start!" Of course, may carpool was a bit late so I was there long enough to hear one guy's performance (he sang three songs) and another girl's poem. Well, Richie was also there but he left somewhere in between. He did make a comment about the guy's voice that wasn't exactly flattering. Too bad people didn't hear it. =)

And of course, my undone work is starting to pile up. 1) I have to visit the National Museum. 2) Have to keep a journal for my nonfiction class. 3) Have to make fanzine which is due tomorrow. And people say my life is easy. =)

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Thursday, June 27, 2002

It's finally Friday and I can't believed two weeks have passed since classes started.

Had lunch yesterday with the Philo block plus Steph. I wasn't really speaking much although I did get to see Ela, Aiah, and PJ. Of course the mineral water I ordered had an expiry date of June 24, and the year was etched out. Uh oh.

Just got another dose of Ambeth Ocampo's tricky quizzes. I knew the true answer but didn't write it down. Oh well, another D for the list.

Spent an hour and a half handwriting three stories for nonfiction. Boy was that tiring for the hands. And then, had to rush to Area 51 in Annapolis to meet my new gaming group and play Warcraft 3.

I wasn't able to make my character since the guy who brings the dice wasn't present. And oh joy, there's the stereotypical gaming group of "no one wants to play the cleric". Except me of course. It's time I show them the power of cheese. =)

In Warcraft 3, on the other hand, everyone was shocked that I was playing a random race. I guess it goes to show how long I've been playing the game. I expected the Area 51 people to be really skilled players that can beat the crap out of anyone. Apparently, I was exagerrating it. They were good but I had a good 50/50 chance of winning against them on one on one. As for the team games, it was a six on six fest. We fought three times since I had to go home and sleep (too bad it wasn't a Friday) since I have classes today but of those games we played, we won!!!

And of course, I come home to the computer, check email, read blogs, and go to sleep. I have a quiz for theology today and I didn't exactly get a high grade in the last quiz. Oh well.

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Wednesday, June 26, 2002

Couldn't update yesterday since my brother was on the phone at wee hours in the evening. As usual.

It never ceases to amaze me how much some people never learn. I mean when we're given a handout to read, it means we should read it. Well, some classmates of mine (and guess what, they're Xaverians!) didn't read the handout so when the teacher gives us a quiz to check if we've read the handout, they don't get the answer. And this happened in BOTH history and philosophy. -.- Some things never change.

Also saw Mitch, Kenken, and Arcina yesterday. They were in CCHQ at around 4:30, at my dismissal time. Of course I also happened to be carpooling and it was a good thing my carpool was photocopying stuff so I had time to "rush" to the shop and meet them. Of course my pants were all muddied by the time I got there. And what do they say when I see them? "Charles, bilhin mo ako niyan." -.- And this is why I like giving stuff to people who don't ask. =)

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Tuesday, June 25, 2002

Oh my God! It's all coming back to me...

It's only when I get a good night's rest that I start remembering things. Not all of them are pretty.

Yesterday, Ms. Doreen Fernandez of the Comm. department died while she was in New York. It got everyone riled up. For those who don't know, Ms. Doreen Fernandez is a great writer and a wonderful teacher as well, or so I hear from her students. I planned to enroll in one of her classes someday but that's not an option now.

Also, had my first history quiz under Mr. Ocampo. The first question went something like this: "Write the lyrics of the song Bahay Kubo and do it without singing."

Last but not least, I did manage to find a ride home yesterday although he dropped me off at Corinthians. It's only now I realize how distant a walk that was.

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There's nothing like a good night's rest. =)

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Isn't it annoying when people carry mobile phones yet they don't answer it?

Well, I'd be writing more today if it weren't for the fact that my brother is hogging the phone and I can't send my emails right now. I can't even see what's on other people's blogs right now.

For the past few minutes, I've been pondering on the duality of emotions. For example, what makes happiness special is the existence of sadness. (My teachers would probably kill me for using such a bland adjective). Well, my life's been full of downs lately but that makes it all the more special. I mean I can complain about the predicament of my relationships yet that makes success all the more valuable.

I've been in love with ***** for the past two years. Some people are rooting for me (strangely, the females) while others are trying to get me hitched with someone else (like Garr and the other "guys"). Perhaps I've been exaggerating when I say there's no hope between us. I mean I don't think she'll ever like a horrible person such as me. Yet at times, we manage to talk. I sometimes even manage to make her smile or laugh. There's nothing more precious than that to me. It's during those times that I see a glimmer of hope. It's a small chance yet for me, it's worth clinging to. As long as I have the smallest chance, I'll always try, never giving up. Why can't some people understand this? It doesn't matter if I get rejected in the end. What's important is that I do my best and not give myself a reason to regret the opportunity. In the future, I want to say I gave it all. The end result doesn't matter. I can love her all I want yet in the end, the decision is up to her. It takes two to tango, so the old saying goes. All I can do is be there, waiting, hoping.

People might call me a fool. So be it. I don't want to have regrets. I want to give everything my best. My friend once asked me this question: if you were going to give ten roses to a girl, in what amount of red and white would you give? My answer was that I'd give her ten roses. He then told me the interpretation: That means that you'll love her with all your heart yet she won't return it. If you chose five whites and five reds, that means that it's all balanced out and you'll both love each other equally. From my perspective, I chose the right answer. There's only one way to love a person: whole heartedly and without reservation. I'm not just talking about romantice love but all forms of love; friendships, relationships, even faith. It's difficulty, and some might argue it's unfair to myself. All I have to say is that it has to start from somewhere.

After writing all that, I don't know where all those sentiments came from. I didn't plan on writing the third and fourth paragraphs yet here they are. I just hope my crush nor her friends gets to read that.

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Monday, June 24, 2002

I've been writing a tad bit "extra" as of late. Guess it's because I have nothing else to do. It's strange when you're breaking from routine. You find something else to do and soon, that becomes your routine.

I've actually written for my other blog as of late. While I still have lots of ideas, I don't want to suffer from a "writing burnout". I need breaks and I can't for the life of me imagine myself writing the entire day. It's as ridiculous as spending the entire day reading, or even spending the entire day playing video games.

Technically, I'd look for a new hobby but new hobbies cost money. Garr would probably try to get me into Warhammer but those things cost money. And artistic talent. Both of which I don't have. I don't want to get into a new card game. I left Magic: The Gathering a few years back. If I wanted a card game hobby, I would never have left M:TG to begin with. Sports? I'm not really athletic. I run from time to time but right now, my legs are sore. I make sure I'm fit else my breathing and sinus problems begin to plague me anew.

Well, I guess I can look forward to tomorrow as my class is history and I've already finished the reading. Of course it also happens to be my only class tomorrow, yet a lot that does me since I still haven't found a carpool for tomorrow.

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Poetry is the art of saying something and meaning something else. It's also the art of going around in circles and saying something indirectly. Which is, of course, the complete opposite of me. I'm a person who favors bluntness over anything else. Interesting dilemma for a person who's trying to write poetry.

I'm not a person who's fond of the cold. That's why I always carry a jacket wherever I go. And wouldn't you know it, all my classes today were in airconditioned rooms. My Philosophy class tranferred to the third floor in Bellarmine since no one was occupying it and for Poetry, transferred to the room next to ours, which also had aircon. Yes, I'm complaining. I'm the person who sleeps in a room with black wallpapers and all the windows are closed. I don't turn on the aircon and I don't use an electric fan. I go to bed with blankets.

And while I was blog browsing, as much as I like Sheila, her blog hurts my eyes. Light blue on white is far from an easy read. Ouch!!!

And for our daily segment on replying to other people's blogs, I always love to comment on Garrick's. As a retort at my "pretty lady encounter" at Club Arena, I like to clarify to Garrick than in Ateneo, I do not do "girl watching". I know girls. They're friends. And they also happen to be pretty. Yes, prettier than the one you guys threw me at. And no, I am not interested in them. There's more to a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship than just good looks and a kind personality. A lot of people would fit that criteria.

Oh yeah, and Garr's remark that his articles would be better than the ones in Playboy. I wouldn't know. I don't look at or read Playboy. I don't see the use. Paul at Hobby Cafe, on the other hand, probably loves looking at FHM. I merely shrug.

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Sunday, June 23, 2002

It's Monday!!! *sigh* Classes again and I bet we have a quiz in theology. The reading was kinda dull so I'll have to reread it.

And in other news, my fanzine is due to come out this week and I haven't started on it yet. =)

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Just browsing through people's blogs and it's amazing what you discover...

Since the picture Noelle scanned wasn't in a good enough resolution, I still don't know what she looks like with her new haircut. As far as I can tell with the pic, she looks thinner. =)

Oh wow. Hahaha. >.< The mechapinoy threesome (Benj, Garr, and Rich) thought that it was "incredibly and indescribably hilarious to throw me at a pretty young lady". Apparently, they haven't visited Ateneo as of late. Besides, there'll only be one girl for me and her name is *****. =) Never mind that I have no chance with her whatsoever.

Garr thinks that if I need an interview with substance, I should call him and he'll write it down. He says it's for "intellectual effect". I like to call it "pambobola", ala Xavier-style.

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Aaaagh! My fantasy encyclopedia's binding is slowly being detached...

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It's annoying when you post submitting at blogger and all your apostrophes turn into question marks. It takes me around ten minutes to correct all of those things. Grrrr.

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If I've been writing much as of late, it's only because I haven't been reading as much as I should be. The same can't be said for some though, as several bloggers have stopped writing. On the other hand, I'd like to think of it as a long hiatus.

I woke up today finding out that my legs were hurting. I don't think I've overexhausted myself yesterday through walking but it looks like I'll have to reduce my traveling for the next few days.

As usual, went to the semi-obligatory mechameet at Club Arena this afternoon. Saw Richie, saw Benj, saw Garrick. Nothing new there. Except, of course, Richie's new job as a sex operator, errr, I mean telephone operator. =)

While we were at the meet, a beautiful from UST came in asking for people to interview about the non-smoking policy at campus. Richie was literally doing hiphops behind her back when she was talking to Eman. And of course, with no one else to tease, they pointed her at my direction, all the while laughing (and Richie doing hops).

"Don't be scared. Do I look like I bite?" she told me.

"It's me you should be scared of," I thought. I politely replied "No."

"Is something wrong? My names Monica. There's nothing wrong with me. I mean there's an issue with my name but that's a private thing. Could I interview you?"


I don't know what went through Richie's mind (and I don't ever want to) but I wonder why Garrick was interivew-phobic. He hid and ran away. Benj, on the other hand, is always shy (yeah right).

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