A Restless Night

It's been a long time since I had a Friday evening free. Usually I'm burdened with some project or I have to sleep early so that I can wake up early the next day to go to school or some other place I'm required.

Suffice to say, I wasn't feeling sleepy and I was quite bored. And while I still have something like half a dozen books to read for next week's class, I was in no mood to start reading.

Just When I'm About to Sleep

The rest of the family comes home: my brother, my mother, and my father. Their racket even wakes up my sister. And these are the days I wish I was sleeping downstairs, so that I can be away from all their petty squabbles and actually get some rest.

My Father's Tirade

Most of the time, my father seldom speaks or answers in monosyllables. The only exception is when he's a) giving a sermon, b) drunk, or c) angry. Let's just say that tonight, there's a bit of all three and from my room, I have to hear his tirades. Which are in Chinese. And it goes on and on and on.

Times like these, I actually think my mother has some sense. She's actually not replying and keeping quiet. But my father will probably go on for hours until the sun rises.

It's Going to be a Long Night

It's 2:15 am and my sister wakes me up (I am but they don't know that) because father wants to talk to me.

It's a routine now. Whenever father has a quarrel with someone else, be it mother or brother, he involves the rest of the family, often in the hopes of rallying them to his side.

Yes-Men

Well, that's what father wants from us. But sorry, I can't give that to him.

From the meager info that he has given me, I found out that my brother hit dad in the face and in the stomach because dad was embarassing him.

Father's not telling the whole story. He's being his normal self, telling only what he wants to hear rather than the entire situation.

Moving on, according to father, my brother told him that he only has one son left.

"And that is you," my father said. "Are you my son?" I nod. "Do you love me?" I nod again. "Is it right for a son to hit his father?"

Now that I cannot answer for certainty. I asked father for the entire situation but he wouldn't budge. Now I know my brother isn't the kindest person in the world but he doesn't fight father on just the slightest provocation. I know he has a temper which easily flares up and that's probably what happened but then again, my father's too stubborn for his own good and what he thinks is "good" or "right" isn't always so.

Basically father wanted me to be his yes-man, to affirm his actions, to take pity on him and take his side. Again, he asked if it was right for a son to hit his father.

I answer truthfully. "It depends on the situation."

Apparently, that wasn't enough for father. He wanted a clear-cut answer. "Yes or no. Right or wrong. Choose." He said.

I repeat my previous answer.

I mean there are several situations when a son might hit his father with justification. The latter beating up the former. The latter drunk and not in control of himself, hence the former needing to resort to force to restrain him. The latter injuring others, etc.

Of course in most situations, it is wrong for a son to hit his father but knowing my father and my brother, well, I'm not willing to give a clear-cut answer until they give me the clear-cut situation, which father wasn't willing to give.

So he rants about not being able to understand me, like my brother, and sends me away.

So here I am in my room, the walls not thick enough to muffle his ongoing tirade to a wife and a daughter who have no choice but to listen.

The Irony

Irony of the situation is that brother is a lot like dad. I don't think they'd understand the "middle" position I'm in, choosing what's right over "loyalty".

I mean if my brother got into a fight with someone, he'd expect his family to support him, no matter who was wrong. And the same goes for father. But I don't follow that philosophy. I side with who's "right", even if I end up going against my family or friends.

Who I am

That statement probably won't make me popular. And that is the reason why a number of high school classmates dislike me. Because I don't support them when they're cheating, when they're pocketing money from the earnings during the fair, or when they're in need of an alibi. (Of course in high school, that one fact has also been my boon. People know that my word can be trusted, and that I don't steal, cheat, or do harmful stuff to other people. Well, none that I don't admit.)

So in case you don't know me, that's who I am. If you're looking for someone to be your yes-man regardless of the situation, I'm not that person.

Silence Follows
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Then it Starts All Over Again

After a repreive, it begins new, this time on my brother's side as mother talks to him.