Long Delayed Post
My Pol. Sci. teacher has one of the most unconventional methods (which is just fine with me) and on our first day of class (or rather, the first day that he showed up), he did tell us this anecdote.
He was once recruited by the Opus Dei and they send someone to you who researched your whole life. The guy they sent starts blabbering about his grade school, high school, and college years and inform him that they don't mind his sexual orientation as long as he doesn't practice.
His reply? First, that practicing was a non-negotiable ("It's okay to be gay but I can't practice?"). And besides, he was Protestant ("So the guy researched my entire life but neglected to find out the most important thing, my religion?").
CCHQ Restocks!
Finally new Japanese shipments, which includes Hunter x Hunter #18, Hana zakari no kimi tachie #21, Tsubasa #2, various manga of Ragnarok (online) and Gundam Seed, etc.
Concern
A friend told me yesterday at how she kept her problems to herself so as to not trouble other people (and unfortunately, some people I know follow this logic). I told her that's not right because the people who care for you have a right to know (it might not be me, it might not be your parents, but tell somebody).
I mean for one thing, all the pent-up frustration builds up (not to mention gives you a bad reputation if the said problem hinders you from doing your "duties"). For another, that's what people concerned for you are for; if they're real friends, they'll stick it out through the good times and bad times. By not telling them, it's like saying you don't matter to me; leave me alone! And while it may seem cruel to involve other people in your problems, it's worse to isolate yourself from them (and the world). Remember that friendship is a reciprocal relationship, with both the advantages and disadvantages.
And to drive my point, I told her that one day, she might suddenly die and we won't know it until her funeral (or later) and where would that leave us, the people concerned about her?
Apparently, that struck true since her friend was on TV the other day and she never knew of the suicide until then.
You Hurt the Ones You Love
While many might see this as as negative statement, I see this as a positive one. Because to be able to "love" someone means an investment and the consequences are more heartfelt.
I believe that the people that can cause us the most pain are those we love... because we love them. I mean the mentality of most people is that what do I care about strangers and people that I don't know? While it may wrench an emotion in our hearts to see the poor boy on the street or the aged solicitor, it's just that, an emotion towards an abstracted person.
But when disaster strikes closer to home, such as an incident involving our friends or family, we are deeply affected. Why? Because it shows we have concern towards them, that we care beyond our own selves and extend it to others. Similarly, the greatest joys and the greatest disappointments arise from people we care about (including ourselves, of course). If somebody wins the gold medal for the Philippines, we're happy for him/her (since in a way, that person represents the country and we do love this country [at least some of us do]). But when someone who wins that medal is someone we know, like a sibling or a close friend, the greater our exultation, since our concern is more than an abstraction of love for the country but a concrete sympathy towards the person.
Like all things, it's a two-way street. It can hurt as much as it can soothe. But we must remember that we can have such an effect on other people (and vice versa) shows us of our capacity to care.
And that's why when you keep your problems to yourself and not inform other people (or when we keep something from them), we're actually inadvertedly hurting the ones we love. Because like it or not, they're involved in our lives.
My Pol. Sci. teacher has one of the most unconventional methods (which is just fine with me) and on our first day of class (or rather, the first day that he showed up), he did tell us this anecdote.
He was once recruited by the Opus Dei and they send someone to you who researched your whole life. The guy they sent starts blabbering about his grade school, high school, and college years and inform him that they don't mind his sexual orientation as long as he doesn't practice.
His reply? First, that practicing was a non-negotiable ("It's okay to be gay but I can't practice?"). And besides, he was Protestant ("So the guy researched my entire life but neglected to find out the most important thing, my religion?").
CCHQ Restocks!
Finally new Japanese shipments, which includes Hunter x Hunter #18, Hana zakari no kimi tachie #21, Tsubasa #2, various manga of Ragnarok (online) and Gundam Seed, etc.
Concern
A friend told me yesterday at how she kept her problems to herself so as to not trouble other people (and unfortunately, some people I know follow this logic). I told her that's not right because the people who care for you have a right to know (it might not be me, it might not be your parents, but tell somebody).
I mean for one thing, all the pent-up frustration builds up (not to mention gives you a bad reputation if the said problem hinders you from doing your "duties"). For another, that's what people concerned for you are for; if they're real friends, they'll stick it out through the good times and bad times. By not telling them, it's like saying you don't matter to me; leave me alone! And while it may seem cruel to involve other people in your problems, it's worse to isolate yourself from them (and the world). Remember that friendship is a reciprocal relationship, with both the advantages and disadvantages.
And to drive my point, I told her that one day, she might suddenly die and we won't know it until her funeral (or later) and where would that leave us, the people concerned about her?
Apparently, that struck true since her friend was on TV the other day and she never knew of the suicide until then.
You Hurt the Ones You Love
While many might see this as as negative statement, I see this as a positive one. Because to be able to "love" someone means an investment and the consequences are more heartfelt.
I believe that the people that can cause us the most pain are those we love... because we love them. I mean the mentality of most people is that what do I care about strangers and people that I don't know? While it may wrench an emotion in our hearts to see the poor boy on the street or the aged solicitor, it's just that, an emotion towards an abstracted person.
But when disaster strikes closer to home, such as an incident involving our friends or family, we are deeply affected. Why? Because it shows we have concern towards them, that we care beyond our own selves and extend it to others. Similarly, the greatest joys and the greatest disappointments arise from people we care about (including ourselves, of course). If somebody wins the gold medal for the Philippines, we're happy for him/her (since in a way, that person represents the country and we do love this country [at least some of us do]). But when someone who wins that medal is someone we know, like a sibling or a close friend, the greater our exultation, since our concern is more than an abstraction of love for the country but a concrete sympathy towards the person.
Like all things, it's a two-way street. It can hurt as much as it can soothe. But we must remember that we can have such an effect on other people (and vice versa) shows us of our capacity to care.
And that's why when you keep your problems to yourself and not inform other people (or when we keep something from them), we're actually inadvertedly hurting the ones we love. Because like it or not, they're involved in our lives.
posted by Charles at 4:43 PM
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