Discworld Quotes I've Manged to Accumulate Recently

"And they believed that for a thing to exist it had to have a position in time and space. Humanity had arrived as a nasty shock. Humanity was practically things that didn't have a position in time and space, such as imagination, pity, hope, history and belief." - Death, Thief of Time

"Chocolate you did not want to eat does not count as chocolate." - Thief of Time

"The good are innocent and create justice. The bad are guilty, which is why they invent mercy." - Magrat Garlick, Witches Abroad

"You can't go around building a better world for people. Only people can build a better world for people. Otherwise it's just a cage." - Granny Weatherwax, Witches Abroad

"Progress just means bad things happen faster." - Granny Weatherwax, Witches Abroad

"They don't fight to kill, but to win. There is a difference. There's no point in killing an opponent. That way, they won't know they've lost, and to be a real winner you have to have an opponent who is beaten and knows it. There's no triumph over a corpse, but a beaten opponent, who will remain beaten every day of the remainder of their sad and wretched life, is something to treasure." - Witches Abroad

"Listen, happy endings is fine if they turn out happy. But you can't make 'em for other people. Like the only way you could make a happy marriage is buy cuttin' their heads off as soon as they say 'I do', yes? You can't make happy endings... All you can do is make an ending." - Granny Weatherwax, Witches Abroad