Wednesday, April 21, 2004


Happiness has always been something we ourselves determine. What makes us happy, or what makes us sad, is up to us. In the end, we decide whether the proverbial glass is half full, or half empty.

Of course people usually attribute the positive attribute to the person who sees the glass half full. That needn't be always the case. I mean we can't always be too complacent about our own lives. Once we reach that point, some of us are tempted to stop striving, tempted to stop changing the world. I have friends, like Dean and Elbert, who are hard to please. But that's also part of what makes them who they are, and in their case, a vital asset. Their high standards are reflected in their lives, and while some might think of them as opinionated, that doesn't invalidate the productivity that arises from their passion or need to make things better. Granted, it does make them feel discontented at times, but there's also a sense of accomplishment in what they've done (and while to them it may never seem enough, to us bystanders, we just admire them for all they've managed to accomplish).

As for me, I've learned to live with myself in the current situation. I mean I learned a long time ago that I can't please my parents, for example. And I certainly won't please other people as much as they want to (or I want to). In the end, I can only answer for myself. In order to care for others, I must first care for myself, and that can only happen if I'm pleased with myself (all 40 kg of me!). Despite my flaws and weaknesses (or sometimes, because of it), I am who I am, and possess redeeming assets of my own. This also might seem to other people as me settling for less. I'm not. It's me learning to be content with what I have (and there's a lot I have to be thankful for). If I'm caught doing "menial jobs", all I have to say is that someone has got to do them. And they are important in the smaller scheme of things. Sure, it might not make me rich or famous, but riches or fame does not necessarily make you happy (although of course, if I'm going to be a sad person, I might as well be a sad rich person).

It's a totally different perspective from my friends Dean and Elbert, but just because it's different does not mean it's inferior or superior. It's merely a different way of looking (and living) at life. Of course taken to the extreme, either situation can be detrimental to society. Just because I'm content with my life does not automatically mean I stopped changing, stopped evolving. There's still a whole world out there for me to explore, an entire world to change and affect the only I way I can. But I also realize that I have time (the illusion of youth!), and I need not hurry. The world will always be there, waiting. In the meantime, allow me to appreciate what I have, savoring every moment of it.

Of course if the need arises, I'll come out of my comfort zone and hopefully lead (leadership to me has always been a responsibility; I'm capable but I don't yearn for it unless there's an absolute need; of course once it's in my lap, there's no real reason why I should hold back and not give it my best) the pioneers of change. Or what'll make me rich and/or famous. =)


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