Schizophrenia

I'm probably doing injustice to this psychological term since technically, split personality should not be equated with schizophrenia. But anyway...

I've said it before and I've said it again: I'm "masama, makulit, mayabang, nakakainis, weirdo, stalker, NR" (evil, [no direct translation but somewhere around the likes of being stubborn and pesty], arrogant, annoying, weird, stalker, short for no-reaction or stoicism). Having said that, I really want to emphasize the arrogant part. Because no one really is as proud as I am.

I mean I'm someone who always screams for attention when in the company of others (uh, that's not why I have a loud voice... that's more due to lack of volume control). Because deep down inside there's an insecure feeling that I'm only people's friend as long as I have a use for them. Hence the need to buy gifts for people, me constantly babbling to the point of incoherence, or even me making the most inappropriate jokes at times.

But of course, there's also my more docile moments where I just sulk in a corner and read a book. Or trap myself in my room (like I did during the Christmas break). Or decline invitations people's parties, lunches/dinners, celebrations, and gimmicks (not that I get much offers in the first place). Or even silently plotting plans of infiltration and world domination (and the occassional revenge).