Responsibility

I made one of the hardest decisions tonight. I formally resigned from my job. And yes, making that decision was indeed difficult because I honestly don't want to resign. But I do have problems with my subconscious and it's taxing on me in my nonworking hours. So I guess I failed to live up to my previous posts about staying in my job no matter how difficult it gets.

And perhaps the second hardest decision was actually formally resigning. I mean there's always the temptation to not just show up and leave everyone clueless, including the company. Or I could also sabotage myself and get myself fired or something. It might even cost me for making that decision. But it's something I have to do; I'm the guilty party here. I have to face the consequences. I have to live with my decision and face it head-on.

Perhaps right now the question that I'm wondering is if I had the chance to turn back time, would I do as I did? I mean on one hand, it was a great learning experience for me. On the other hand, I'm trampling on several people, including the company and my coworkers. The sacrifice I've endured is worth the growth. However, it also came at other people's expense and there's something wrong in doing something if you know in the end, you'll quit, rather than trying something because you don't know whether you'll succeed or not. But ruffled feathers aside, I'm glad I had this entire opportunity to grow and learn more about myself.