Saturday, October 02, 2004


Managed to get some decent sleep by 11 am. Woke up a a couple of minutes ago. On a side note, I still had dreams during that time, and it still involved my job. But at least it was less shocking this time. I guess I better get used to it; it seems that my employment involves my participation 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

Not an Option

Right now, quitting is not an option. I actually have several reasons:

1) Bond. First and foremost, I'm required to stay with the company for a year or else I have to pay a fee which is way beyond my budget now.

2) The company. I do care for the company and they did spend time and money in training me. I want them to recuperate their expenses, after all. And since it's not even two months, I'm sure that's not the case if I suddenly quit.

3) Discipline. I'm not the type of person that gives up. Actually, while my job is difficult, it's not something I can't cope with. It's more an issue with my nerves and probably personality. Sure, it's nerve-wrecking and quite a challenge, but for me, quitting at this stage would be the easy way out. I'm not yet at my limits. I don't want to quit. I want to boast that I stayed at my job for at least a year (although I'll probably settle for 6 months depending if my psyche can't take it anymore).

4) Paperwork. There's also the matter of the paperwork, which I'm not familiar with, and I still need to get my TIN processed, which'll take several months. And without my TIN, getting employment for my next job will be difficult.

5) Salary. I really don't want to depend on my parents again for my allowance. I'm dependent on them as it is. "Earning" your own money also has its own sense of fulfillment.

6) Where Will I Go? Let's face it, finding a decent-paying job is difficult. So the question I must ask is that once I leave my current job, where can I find a job? Of course by now, after this entire experience, I'm both lowering and raising my standards. And I've discovered a lot about myself, and what I really want to do.

7) Those Who Depend on Me. We work in teams at my job. If I leave abruptly, they'll be the ones who'll suffer the most. And it'll also reflect bad on my trainers, the HR people that hired me, and eventually the company. I really don't want to leave that kind of mess in my wake.


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