Monday, May 17, 2004

Rain Rain Go Away

Of course it wouldn't surprise me if I'm the only person in the Philippines who doesn't appreciate rain at this point in time. Yes, I know it's summer and you've all been suffering under the heat. But for me, rain is just another excuse to get wet. And as a pedestrian, I do not like getting wet. And of course, my body is optimized for things very hot, so the change in temperature is far from appreciated. Did I mention I lost my umbrella last week strolling around Mega Mall?


Well, if there's anything my life currenlty lacks, it's tension. The only thing that remotely bothers me is the fact that I'm still unemployed, but the threat of that is like a slow, creeping mold: you'll just wake up one day to find that it's there just like that. No sleepless nights waiting for it to come, no dramatic tension whatsoever. You probably won't even see it coming. Problems that are quick and fast, those are what usually catches my attention: deadlines, accidents, injuries, etc. But unemployment is far from that list. It's like cancer. It's lingering there yet you don't really notice it until it's too late. The weather doesn't help either. It makes me lethargic and sleepy (did I mention I think the idea of sleep is a huge waste of time when that eight hours you spend exploring your subconscious could have been channeled to do something more productive).

Because I'm Bored

Now I'm going to talk about how to be a good liar. And the paradox of being a good liar is the fact that you have to be an honest person to pull if off.

For one thing, if a liar always lied, then he might as well have told people the truth. Because if liars always lied, people would know a liar is lying. And if you know a lie is a lie, then you'd know that the opposite of it is probably what's true. So it doesn't really do a liar any good to perpetually lie.

I don't think I have to reiterate the often-used statement "the best lies are those sprinkled with truth". Actually, my approach (if I was a liar, which I am not, by the way... erroneous at times but not a liar) would be to tell the truth, but not necessarily everything we know, and let other people jump to their own conclusions. I mean let's face it: people love to jump to conclusions. The only judgement we trust is our own. The only exception is when faced with a person with authority or who has been known to judge wisely. Or to tell the truth. So in reality, the best person to spread a lie is a person of honest integrity. And when you're not that kind of person, you can always "lead" the recipient into believing his or her own suspicions, especially since their suspicions didn't come from you directly but from themselves. Never mind the fact that their suspicions is a lie. Their judgement, after all, is true for them.

And of course, shifting between truth and lies is a good way to get other people off balance. I mean if I tell the truth the first time, it's reasonable to expect that the person will expect me to tell the truth again the next time he or she asks. To take this further, mixing it up between the two will make the other person unsure. I mean if I tell the following statements: statement A, statement B, statement C, statement D, and statement E. If statement A was true and statement B was a lie, the person won't really know if statements C, D, and E are true or not. The person would always be second-guessing me whether what I told him or her was true or not, more so if I tend to tell the truth more often than not. And when telling the truth occurs more often, it makes the lie that "I made a simple mistake rather than planning to mislead you" easier to believe.

And of course, to be the perfect liar, I don't have to lie all the time: just once, but at the right time or moment. For example, if there was a police investigation incriminating me and another person as suspects, the best policy I could take would be to tell them the truth, except for the one fact that would incriminate me. Rather than divulging the truth, the lie I'd tell would incriminate the other person. And if everything else I said was true, it would collaborate with that single lie. Another prime example are con artists. The good ones usually make several promises to their prey. All of the promises are fulfilled except the last, which has the highest stakes. For example, a friend of mine would entrust me with P1,000. I'd be honest and return to him the same amount when he got back. Then he'd trust me some more, leaving P10,000 with me and so on. I'd be honest with him until the point that I think it's profitable for me to lie to him, such as when he's entrusting me with, say, P10,000,000. And since I've had a perfect record so far, when I finally pull it off, no one would have seen it coming. Some probably won't even believe that I did it (because of my honest reputation).

As we can see, the best of liars isn't one who frequently lies, but frequently tells the truth, and saves his or her lies for the most opportune of times.


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