Monday, July 18, 2005

[Blog Entry] A Broken Promise, Gaining Weight

A Broken Promise

One of the things I swore to myself that I wouldn’t do was to keep out of touch with my friends. Yet here I am, a year after graduation, too busy to concern myself with other people.

It’s easy to blame it on other people. “They didn’t call,” or “I haven’t seen them.” Is perhaps one of the excuses that comes to mind. While it’s true they are party responsible, there also comes a point when you’re to blame as well. If I dial up their phone number and they don’t pick up, bully for them. If I never dial their phone number, I’ll never know if the other end will pick it up or not. Call Center Culture (my term for the thousands of middle-class to upper-class people who find employment in call centers) might make it difficult to keep in touch with people (since they’re asleep during daytime and out at work during the evening), but for me, that’s just another excuse, especially with all the technology at our disposal, be it mobile phones or email.

Isolation doesn’t help either. The easiest thing you can say to yourself is that I’m busy. Or it’s opposite, yet equally compelling reason, I’m lazy. Something always gets in the way. Or there’ll always be other, more lucrative things to do with your time. Which is why I now pause and think. For me, my friends were once my priority. Now… it’s obviously something else.

I ran into one of my blockmates the other day. She’s not exactly one of the blockmates I cherish the most, but a blockmate nonetheless. One doesn’t need a long chat to know that things have changed. In the span of two minutes and a question or two, you can learn a lot about a person. The question I often ask is where do you work now. Apparently, she’s now working for Summit Media. Which brings the tally now of five Creative Writing majors (in a class of nine) working in a magazine in one way or another.

Gaining Weight

For the first time, people I see are telling me that I’m gaining weight. Two years ago, Benj told me that once I’d start working, I’d be gaining weight (and I’ve seen lots of people use this reasoning as well… but honestly, I don’t get it. Should I be gaining more weight because I’m more stressed out? That I’ll use food as a means for comfort? That I’ll have more money to spend on food?). I don’t think that’s the reason though. My short stint as a call center agent disproves that theory. Rather, I attribute it to all the vitamins I’m taking now (which I previously haven’t been taking), my regular bowel movement (due to the fact that I’m taking vitamins… my record for not going to the rest room to crap is one week), and my new addiction for soya milk. It’s not like I’m eating more; I’m still taking the same amount of food. It’s not my diet either; I’m still eating the same kinds of food. And it’s not all the exercise (or lack of it) either; I’m still waking the same distances every day.

So what’s the final record? I’m still underweight, but 15 pounds underweight rather than 20. Hopefully I’ll reach three digits by the end of the year.


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