Perks and Cons of Being Me, A Stalker

Perk: I can move through a crowd unseen.

Con: I can't turn it off. (The staff at the cafeteria actually didn't notice me and didn't open the door until the guy behind me was in front of him.)

Perk: I'm famous.

Con: I'm infamous.

Perk: I know a lot of people.

Con: I spook a lot of people.

Perk: I have lots of friends.

Con: I don't have a best friend.

Perk: I know a lot of cute girls.

Con: I'm nothing more than a "brother" to them.

Perk: People laugh when I say I'm a stalker.

Con: People don't take me seriously.

Perk: I can get away with not revealing my sources by just saying "I'm a stalker."

Con: Now they take me seriously.

Perk: I make accurate observations.

Con: People dislike me for knowing (or for saying it out loud).

Perk: People actually read my blog.

Con: People don't like what I say.