Monday, November 15, 2004


One of my biggest weakness is perhaps my constant need for sleep. Don't get me wrong, sleep is good, especially when you're deprived of it. I know several busy people who'd kill just to be able to sleep. Yet for me, sleep is a double-edged sword. Too much and you end up slowly killing yourself, albeit not in the physical sense.

An exagerration would be wanting to go to sleep even if you've already slept for the past 12 hours. Why is that bad? That's time that could have been spent elsewhere, whether it's finishing your work or tasks to be done, meeting up with friends and family, or in my case, doing some writing. Yet the lure of sleep is strong. For one thing, it's a simple decision. I just have to close my eyes and relax. Everything else is automatic. Nothing to compute, nothing to think about. Everything is effortless. Wouldn't life be more enjoyable if everything was that easy?

Sleep, more often than not, is also my way of running away from my problems. I mean don't you have those days when you don't want to wake up for fear of what might happen on that day, be it exams if you're a student, or deadlines if you're an employee? As long as we continue to sleep or as long as we refuse to get up from bed, those problems are temporarily staved off. It's the perfect excuse to procastinate. And of course, we never tell ourselves that "we've had enough sleep"; there's always time for more sleep. Unfortunately, there's not enough time for everything else.

There's also the fact that you dream when you sleep. In moderation, dreams are good. They might give us inspiration, or give us something to hope for. However, if we cling to our dreams too much, we might end up falling in love with it too much that we start distancing ourselves from reality. I mean when I was depressed, all I wanted to do was go back to sleep and dream. At least in my dreams, I'd find satisfaction. And when I'd wake up, my immediate goal was to get some more sleep, instead of finding ways to make my dream into a reality. Dreaming is good, but it should never be our ultimate goal. Making our dreams a reality, that is good. Believing that our dreams is reality, on the other hand, is something we should shy away from.

Right now, it's also tempting to just go to sleep at the slighest sign of sleepiness. Even if I have chores to do and tasks to be accomplished, getting some sleep seems like the perfect excuse not to do anything. But in a way, that's like reverting to being a baby. I mean when we were babies, sleep was important. We were constantly cared for by someone else, and we could do whatever we want at any time, whether it was to eat, sleep, or play. Unfortunately, most of us don't have that option nowadays. The only person who can truly take care of us is ourselves, and there are other things we need to do other than eat, sleep, and play.


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